A day that is only spoken is a day a child has to hold entirely in memory. A day that is also visible is a day they can check for themselves. Everything here is built on that one difference.
Telling a child what is happening costs you nothing and gives them almost nothing to hold onto once you have left the room. A schedule they can look at — pictures, words, objects, whatever they read fastest — stays put after you stop talking, and a child can check it as many times as they need to without asking you again.
None of this requires a diagnosis to be worth trying. A child who is anxious, a child who is autistic, and a child who is simply four all benefit from the same thing: a day that does not have to be remembered, only looked at.
Photos or icons, how many steps, and where it actually gets used.
How much warning to give, and what to deliberately keep the same.
Countdowns, first-then language, and a proper ending for what came before.
What to put in it, and how many times to read it before the day.
The sequence, the sensory details, and the part that comes after.
It is usually communication, not defiance. Finding the specific sticking point.
Reintroduce the routine before the day, not on it.
Go when it is empty. Walk the actual route. Take photos.