A sibling of a child with additional needs often carries feelings nobody asked them about, because everyone assumed they were fine.
Love, pride, protectiveness, resentment about attention, and embarrassment in front of friends can all be true in the same child in the same week. Saying so plainly — "it's normal to feel more than one thing about this, even feelings that seem to contradict each other" — gives a sibling permission they rarely get elsewhere.
Ten minutes, a specific activity, a specific day — anything that is reliably and only about them, not shared, not interrupted, not contingent on how the rest of the day goes. Small and repeated works better here than big and occasional, the same as everywhere else in this house.
Siblings usually already know more than adults assume. A straightforward, age-appropriate answer to "why does he do that" builds more trust than deflecting, and an unanswered question does not go away — it just goes unasked next time.
Helping sometimes is fine and often wanted. Being expected to supervise, translate, or manage their sibling as a standing responsibility is a different thing, and it is worth watching for whether that expectation has quietly become the norm in your house.
Yes, and feeling it does not make them a bad sibling or mean they do not love their brother or sister. It is worth telling them that directly, more than once.
Small and consistent beats big and rare, the same principle that works for any child. Ten minutes that reliably happen matter more than an occasional big outing that gets cancelled.
Some families find sibling-specific support groups genuinely valuable, and it is worth asking your child's care team or school counsellor what is available locally. We are not the ones to say whether your specific child needs it.
Part of our guide to Big feelings & belonging.