A meeting about your child, with your child mostly not in the room, is hard to sit through well unprepared. Preparation mostly means writing things down before you walk in.
Any prior evaluations, reports from a therapist or doctor, and the current plan if one exists. Having them physically in front of you means you are working from the same page as everyone else at the table, rather than from memory.
"He struggles with transitions" is easy to say and easy for a meeting to move past. "On three mornings last week he could not leave the breakfast table without a countdown" is specific and harder to skip over. Write a short, dated list of what you have actually noticed at home before the meeting, not during it.
A partner, a relative, a friend — someone who is not you, writing down what is said, so you are free to actually listen and speak instead of trying to do both. Meetings move fast, and a written record afterward is worth far more than what you can hold in memory on the drive home.
Procedures, your rights, and what a school is required to provide vary by country and by state, and we are not qualified to tell you what applies to your situation. For anything procedural or rights-related, ask your school's case manager directly, or a local parent-advocacy organisation that works specifically in special education.
Some families do, particularly for a contested meeting; many families never do. It is a personal decision based on your own situation — a local parent-advocacy group is a reasonable place to ask what is typical where you are.
Policies on recording vary by school and by location. Ask directly and in advance rather than assuming either way.
Ask, on the spot, every single time. "What does that mean in an actual school day for him?" is a completely reasonable question, and a meeting that cannot answer it plainly has not actually explained the plan.
Part of our guide to Big feelings & belonging.